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Claire Schuh

Conspiracy Theories on Matching Socks

Here are three theories that can explain why socks go missing.


The Laundry Black Hole Theory: This is an imaginative theory that suggests washing machines and dryers are blackholes to another universe where socks escape. In this theory a sock from each matching pair gets swallowed into another dimension. Where they form their own culture, customs, and languages. Every once in a while socks have their great migration back to our world which is why we find missing socks in the less expected places.


The Manufacturing of Socks Theory: The manufacturer's motive intentionally designs socks to easily get separated or lost in the laundry. Another factor is that manufacturers deliberately produce socks with different patterns, colors, and textures which makes them more likely to get stuck in the washing machine and or tangled up in clothes. The industry promotes that wearing mismatched socks is “weird” so people invest in another pack of socks, thereby feeding into the sock manufacturer's plan.


The Government Surveillance Theory: This theory suggests that socks are embedded with micro-surveillance devices that monitor everything we do. And when socks go missing in the washing machine the government is actually collecting them for data extraction. Supposedly the CIA has all washing machines have a hidden retrieval system designed to only take one sock from each pair. 


All three of these theories may be why socks mysteriously disappear.


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