If Teachers Were Reality TV Stars: The Faculty Face-Off
Kardashians, Dance Moms, Secret Lives of Mormon Wives- forget them! There’s a new reality show in town, and it’s set in the wildest place of all, Visitation Academy. The Faculty Face-Off brings the drama, the tears, and the triumphs of the Viz hallways to your TV screen, where your teachers become the next renowned TV stars, battling it out for the new Golden Globe: Teacher of the Year Award (and also, bragging rights for the next 10 years). Well, who’s starring, you may ask. Good question! Only the very best! Here’s the cast, your favorite teachers like you’ve never seen them before!
Mrs. Hadlow- Shakespeare’s Right Hand: Mrs. Hadlow doesn’t just teach literature- she sleeps, eats, and breathes literature. When you see her walk down the halls or into a classroom, suddenly the lights turn off, and a spotlight hits her. Expect Shakespearean monologues in every discussion. If you forget your homework? That’s Mrs. Hadlow’s cue, “Alas, poor homework! Thou art but dust beneath my feet.” Think of her as the Beyonce of the English department, minus the singing (thankfully).
Mr. McKeever- Track Coach & Youth and Government Legend: He looks tough with a 7’2 build but he’s actually a softie. Mr. McKeever has spent the last 30 years yelling motivational quotes at his YAG members, his track stars, and his history classes. Mr. McKeever becomes the embodiment of tough love, he puts David Goggins to shame! “If you don’t run five laps around the track, you’re out of here.” But don’t let that scare you too much, he does have a soft spot for some students. He’s the type of person to throw a snack bag with a note attached, “You got this, champ.”
Mrs. Dunn- The Calculation Commander: She’s roamed these halls since the beginning of time. Mrs. Dunn is kind, but there’s a twist. Behind that smile, she’s armed with knowledge and calculus problems so sharp they could cut glass. She can solve any equation in her sleep but will respond to a student who forgot their calculator with, “Sure, because that’s what I need- another excuse.” Don’t be fooled by her love of numbers- she’ll break you down with one single look when you claim, “you don’t get math.”
Mrs. Bealke- The Curator of Tragedy: Mrs. Bealke’s classroom is a place where words come to life- and sometimes, I don’t know if I’ll make it out of there alive. Her room is a place where the light barely reaches and essays grow like weeds in an abandoned graveyard. She teaches the dark side of literature like Edgar Allen Poe, and it might just be a reflection of her intellectual state. Poe even says, “All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.” And to be honest after her tests and papers that dream feels more like a nightmare. But under the shadows, Mrs. Bealke believes that tragedy builds character just as long as your character survives her next lesson.
Mrs. Benigno-The Pig-Dissector Extraordinaire: Mrs. Benigno’s classroom is where real cutting-edge biology takes place. Her specialty, you may ask? Dissecting pigs with a side of long-answer-only exams. With a scalpel in hand and a grin on her face, she’s sure to guide you through every organ, artery, and vein, oh and yes, you’ll definitely be tested on every one of them. Long-answer exams? You’ll be lucky if you pass or if your hand survives the writing marathon. Mrs. Benigno is one to leave you with character development and a few battle scars.
As the chaos unfolds and the drama reaches its peak, expect the unexpected. Will Mrs. Hadlow deliver the most poetic monologue under pressure? Will Mr. McKeever’s motivational speeches break the contestants into tears (of inspiration, of course)? Will Mrs. Dunn solve a calculus equation so complicated it breaks the universe? And can Mrs. Bealke deliver another tragic essay prompt that leaves everyone questioning their life choices? Oh, and don’t forget Mrs. Benigno—she might just dissect a pig and your self-esteem in one fell swoop. In the end, only one teacher will win the prestigious Teacher of the Year Golden Globe—while the rest will leave with a lot of awkward classroom moments and maybe a participation trophy. Tune in to see who survives the ultimate Faculty Face-Off—and who’s left just hoping they’ll be invited back next year.
Comments