It’s October, I walk into Spirit Halloween for some harmless Halloween fun, and every year, the animatronics ruin it for me. Let me give you a gist of why they are the worst part of Halloween. No, I am not talking about cute little ghosts or friendly jack-o-lanterns. I am talking about shrieking, lunging, glitching, unpredictable machines designed to scare anyone who gets too close. They are terrifying for all the wrong reasons. Six-foot-tall Nibbles the Clown is slowly lurching as if it is going to grab you while a zombie is hissing in your left ear plus it looks like it has seen better days (and maybe needs WD-40). I don’t need this kind of horror in my life. I’ll admit it, I jump every single time one of these things goes off but let’s talk about the aftermath of “THE Animatronic Scare”. You’re browsing peacefully at one moment, and then next, you’re jolting as Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ambushes you with his chainsaw from the “decor” section. Plus, when you’re out in public, surrounded by other customers and the Spirit Halloween employees, it is VERY embarrassing. Nobody needs to see me scream over these on a Friday afternoon. So, you need a last minute costume piece? You can bet there’s an animatronic waiting for you in that very aisle. Want to check out the wigs? Good luck getting past the brown, hairy, jumping spider that looks like it is out for blood. Spirit Halloween has clearly decided that all roads must lead through these animatronic scare zones, and they don’t care if it makes shopping a nightmare. Every simple trip to the store turns into jump scares that I didn’t sign up for. I just want to pick out a costume in peace, but apparently, Spirit Halloween isn’t about that life. So, my only request for Spirit Halloween is that I just want peace…is that too much to ask for?
Comments