The Love Doctor
Alright alright, we get it Valentine's Day is coming up. I assume you guys need tips and my first thought is if you need advice from someone currently single, then this is going to be a rough holiday for you. Just kidding… if DocMcStuffins can nurse stuffed animals back to health without a PhD, I can help you while being single. I mean coaches aren't allowed to play anyways, so this works out better for the both of us. I will give you all my tricks, just do not hold it against me if it does not work. The clock is ticking ladies so we must move fast. Here's the game plan. First, we have to decide whether or not we are trying to score a date. Are we going for Galentines or Valentines? If we are going for Valentine's Day then let's get started. Now, the first thing we need is to identify a culprit, I mean a date. Any lucky people coming to mind? Once we identify the person, the next step is to make them think that going on a Valentine's date is their idea, not yours. This is where you take a little girl boss moment. In order to do this, you can buy a valentine at the STUCO table during lunch. You send them a cute note like:
Now that you have selected a Valentine to send to them, write a little hint for them at the bottom. They cannot just know that you are the one to send it to them, they have to work for it. This is the fun part so get creative! If you are having a bad case of writer's block then have no fear. All you need to do is send the Valentine and if they ask about it, pretend a friend sent it. It is a classy move that they will never suspect coming. Okay, the final step is…. sending them streaks or "accidentally" snapping them. Revert to your middle school days and bring out your inner flirt. Here is how the conversation should look: If you have the new chat symbol, you are in good shape. If you have the opened snap sign…. um maybe their snapchat broke because there is no other explanation for this plan not working. Let's say everything goes right and their snapchat is working…
You respond to their chat
They answer you
You send them a cute little message telling them that you are free to hang on Monday (pretend you do not know it is Valentine's Day)
They text you something back along the lines of "That's Valentine's Day, you think I am free? Well I am, so I'll see you at 7 pm.
You get married and live happily ever after and invite me to the wedding because I helped you make big money moves.
Now if all else fails, just blame it on your astrology sign. P.S. This is not a game plan for the weak of heart… be strong and remember that Galentines day is always an option. Also, SUPER BOWL SUNDAY IS THE DAY BEFORE! Who needs a Valentine when you have the best sports day.